Find yourself a basement, an attic, a shed, a space between the floorboards. Tear open the mattress and pull out it’s middle. Buy a really big box. Buy a safety deposit box. Buy a garage. Buy a haulage crate. Sew more pockets into your coat. Build a panic room, build a really big panic room, because it’s time to start fucking panicking.

When you have enough space, you’ll need:

Matches
Stamps
Paper Clips
Plasters
A number of graphite pencils from 7H through to 5B
Paper Tissues
Scissors
An anglepoise lamp
An Orthopedic Chair
A copy of Dan Brown’s Angel’s and Demons
A copy of the director’s cut of The Day the Earth Stood Still
A copy of REM’s Document
Everything by Siouxie and the Banshees
A small bottle of fragrance intended to smell like soil or grass
A photograph of someone you really liked but sort of just lost touch with after university
A photograph of someone you sort of lost touch with after they moved out of the country
A photograph of the one that got away
A photograph of your favourite American President
A photograph of your favourite Beatle
A photograph of a monument you never visited
A photograph of a sea you never swam in
A photograph of the last person you saw before you heard that Princes Diana had died
A photograph of Princess Diana
Candles
The emergency services numbers for all the developed nations
Stamped addressed envelopes for everyone you know who lives in Australia
A wind up Radio
Bottled water (Sparkling and Still)
A drawing of catastrophe by an 8 year old
A square foot of turf from the original Wembley
A square foot of turf from Woodstock
A square foot of turf from Yorkshire Moors
A handful of gravel from a driveway
A polaroid camera and enough film to take a photo a day until the Depression is over
Chalk
A subscription to National Geographic
Cress
A small metal sculpture of an aeroplane designed to balance delicately on a metal base and give the impression it’s flying
As many cans of HP’s All Day Breakfast in a Tin as you can carry without assistance
Several varieties of fresh filled pasta
Quorn Mince
Sun blushed tomatoes
27 Cartons each of every variety of Rubicon except Coconut
All the ingredients for a Bolognese
Popcorn with a plastic sachet of toffee
Crunchy and Smooth Peanut Butter
Olivio
Asparagus
As much Kraft fucking Dinner as you can possibly find
Chewing Gum
Toothpaste
Soap
A letter from your parents
A letter from your parents to each other
A letter from someone you love
A letter to someone you love that for one reason or another you never got around to sending
Someone you love
Enough genetic material to reconstruct mankind from scratch
A live recording of a Radiohead song made on someone’s cameraphone
The best answerphone message you’ve ever heard
Copper wire
A watercolour print of somewhere you once went on holiday
A small chunk of the Berlin Wall with it’s certificate of authenticity
A Magic Eye poster
A broken clock too attractive to throw out
Lladro
A revolver with one bullet for everyone in the house
Christmas decorations
Limoncello
Shoe boxes
A key to the local tennis courts
A broken badminton racket
A partly deflated basketball with a Chicago Bulls design on it
Post It Notes
The Yellow Pages
A mix tape someone made to impress you
Flip Flops
Car Keys
Sand Bags
Spoons
Nails
Leaves
Jars

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